


don't take yourself too seriously

by maudarijn



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Min Yoongi | Suga, Crack, F/F, F/M, Gay Taehyung, JunHao - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Supposed to be Crack, asexual aromantic seulgi, bts centered, but guess who decided on taegi, but it'll probably turn into angst, everything is gay tbh, except jin who's bi asf, gay jimin, hoseok and minghao are friends, i say 3 chapters, irene is also very bi, irene is lowkey highkey in love with wendy, irene is the mom friend, its p gay, jikook - Freeform, joyri - Freeform, kskskks thats a tag, lets bet on how long it'll take me to make it angsty, namseok - Freeform, o shit i havent mentioned red velvet yet, pansexual namjoon, platonic namjin, platonic vkook, platonic yoonseok, probably going to squeeze some prose in as well, questioning jeongguk, seulgi and seokjin best friends bro, seulgi the best wing woman, should be a threesome, ssh its a secret tho, taegi - Freeform, text fic, this is what i write at 3 am ok, wendy is straight wow thats a first, yup me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 05:55:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13070520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maudarijn/pseuds/maudarijn
Summary: real texts between bts, seventeen and red velvet i swear :)(will probably be bts-centered but also involve some seventeen and red velvet members yeet)





	don't take yourself too seriously

**Author's Note:**

> mk mk lets see 
> 
> chat names  
> namjoon; namu  
> seokjin; seoking  
> yoongi; sugs  
> hoseok; hobi-wan  
> jimin; minny  
> taehyung; taeyay  
> jeongguk; jeonggrr
> 
> junhui; hui  
> minghao; hao  
> (yes i know that's gay that's the point)
> 
> seulgi; beargi  
> sooyoung; sunnyjoy  
> yerim; yerimofo

namu started the group chat 'uhhhh'

namu added seoking

namu added jeonggrr

namu added hobi-wan

namu added sugs

namu added minny

namu added taeyay

 

namu: did i forget someone?

hobi-wan: ur passport

sugs: twice

jeonggrr: since when is joon hyung's passport a someone

sugs: ur a baby

hobi-wan: shut up child

seoking: u two are babies too dont attack gguk u ugly creme broulees

namu: burn

taeyay: only intellectuals will gey joonie hyung's joke

minny: lol

taeyay: don't pretend u undestrdood it park jimin

minny: o no i feel so threatend

sugs: @seoking how dare u call me n my man that

hobi-wan: husband*

sugs: same thing

seoking: all i hear is gu gu ga ga

namu: gu

namu: ggu

namu: ugh my fingrs r too fat

jeonggrr: r u making a joke or trying to say gguk

namu: latter

namu: what do u mesn malinf a jpke

taeyay: joonie hyung has a rlly old phone

minny: so i've heard

hobi-wan: @namu what's this gc for

namu: being friends

sugs: gay

taeyay: gay

sugs: .....

sugs:

jeonggrr: LMAOOOO

seoking: shur ur baby mouth gguk it isntneven that funny

hobi-wan: but it is

sugs: ^ 

taeyay: does this mean me n agust d r the same person

minny: ur both from daegu

sugs: dOnT mEntioN tHta nAMe 

namu: agust d

sugs: NAMJOON

hobi-wan: o shit

hobi-wan: he pulled the full name

minny: im in the dorms but joon hyung is runnint

sugs: where to

seoking: hobi's house i bet

hobi: no

taeyay: i smell a lie

sugs: @namu this isnt over yet

 

_do u see them moves mMm_

2:47 PM

 

hui: dance practice is at 5 pm right

hobi-wan: ye

minny: do u mind if i bring taehyung lol

jeonggrr: dont bring him with u pls

hao: pls bring him w u

minny: im conflicted

hui: who's taehyung

hao: he's in hoseok hyung jimin hyung and jeongguk hyung's friend group

hao: p hilarious

hui: ah

hobi-wan: sniff sniff what is that i smell in the air

minny: sniff sniff smells like jealousy to me

hui: omg stop

jeonggrr: u two are too mean jun hyung and hao are the best boyfriends

hao: LOOOOL 

hao: tae hyung doesnt seem gay to me 

hao: dw hui <3<3<3

hao: also yes we r best boyfriends

hui: yes >:(

hobi-wan: lmao tae is as gay as gguk

jeonggrr: im not gay ?????

minny: thats what u think

hobi-wan: when ur surrlunded by all of us hotties u cant help but be gay

jeonggrr: dont try to forc ur gayness on me

hao: ^

hao: let the boy live

hui: hao ur gaydar is broken ut seems

hao: o no

minny: no tae strikes everyone as ur typical straight fuccboi

hobi-wan: tragic

jeonggrr: tae totally has a thing for yoongi hyung 

minny: wat

hobi-wan: huh

hao: whomst is yoongi hyung

hui: cant u just add us to a gc or something 

hobi-wan: nO I CANT DO THAT U WILL BE SCARRED FOR LIFE

hui: ... ok??????

minny: @jeonggrr explain

beargi: whats going on whos gay

hobi-wan: everyone here except u seul 

jeonggrr: abd me

hob-wani: shut up and explain ur statement

jeonggrr: well tae kind of just let it slip he's v into yoongi hyung

jeonggrr: i kind pf told seokjin hyung too

beargi: dear god seokjin finally someone i know

minny: u know seokjin hyung ????

beargi: ye we've been friends since like kindergarten lmao

jeonggrr: how didnt we know this

jeonggrr: also hi nice to meet u i dont think ive met u yet

beargi: me ?????

beargi: k then hi im seulgi why didnt i meet u yet

hobi-wan: u werent at last practice and thats when we brought jeongguk for the first time

beargi: o shit

beargi: welcome to the team jeongguk lol

jeonggrr: what do u look like

minny: is that really ur first question 

hao: boy might be straight after all

beargi: uh

hui: SELCAAAAAA

hao: YE SELCA SELCA

hobi-wan: SELCA SELCA SELCA

beargi: sure y not

beargi: 

minny: THE TRUE AESTHETIC QUEEN

hobi-wan: VVVVVV

hao: o shit right i forgot u were a photography major

hui: I LOOOOOOVE

jeonggrr: pretty !

yerimofo: poppin in to say YES BITCH I LOVE YOU

beargi: thanku guys <3333

beargu: also love u too yeri lol

hobi-wan: now ita time for ggukie's face to bless this gc

jeonggrr: IM SCARED

minny: u better do it

jeonggrr: IM EVEN MORE SCARED NOW

hobi-wan: do it or i'll send ur meme face its gonna happen either way

jeonggrr: .....

jeonggrr: 

minny: BEHOLD! BEAUTY!

yerimofo: boi he fine as fuck

minny: ikr

hobi-wan: shut up yeri ur too gay

yerimofo: tru

hao: he a pretty boy for sho

hui: vv

beargi: cuuuuuuute

minny: question why is everyone but me in this gc so pretty 

beargi: bitch

hobi-wan: bitch

jeonggrr: bIIIIIITCH

hao: shut ur face u r gorgeous

hui: yes yes vvvvvvvvvv 

yerimofo: im gay but when i saw jimin for the first time i thought i was going to faint

beargi: im goin to tell sooyoung bout that

yerimofo: U EVIL SATAN SPAWN

hao: hol up hol up

hao: is there something gay we need to know about

beargi: yes actually our very own kim yerim has a girlfriend i thought yall knew

yerimofo: SEULGI SHUT UP

beargi: im ur unnie bitch

yerimofo: .... UNNIE BITCH SHUT UP

 

hao changed the group name to 'UNNIE BITCH SHUT UP'

 

jeonggrr: LOOOOL

hui: A NEW GIRLFRIEND

minny: oH MY

hobi-wan: so whomst is this lucky sooyoung

beargi: trust me yeri is lucky to have sooyoung not the other way around

yerimofo: shut up

beargi: let me kindly show all of u

beargi: 

yerimofo: IM NEVER POSING FOR U AGAIN

yerimofo: but god sooyounb looks great 

minny: BEAUTIFUL !!! GIRLFRIENDS !!

hobi-wan: THIS IS THE BEST SHIP

hao: I LOVE

hui: I SUPPORT

jeonggrr: thats too much beauty in one photo god damn

hobi-wan: @yerimofo @beargi pls bring her to dance practice today we want to meet her

beargi: she's made out of literal sunshine we should being her yeri

yerimofo: ...... i'll consider it

 

_uhhhh_

5:12 PM

 

taeyay: where is everyone

taeyay: the dorm is lonely n quiet

taeyay: ;-;

namu: im @ seokjin's house bc hobi hyung went to dance practice

namu: jimin n gguk went there too

seoking: yes

seoking: idk where yoongi is tho

taeyay: should i say uh oh

namu: nah

namu: probably at his stduio or something  

taeyay: when do hyungs n jeongguk come back from prCjtce

seoking: prCjtice

namu: uhhh 7 pm i think

seoking: they’ll miss dinner ??????

namu: idk thats what jimin said

taeyay: oke

taeyay: ;-;

seoking: ffs i'll make dinner later then

 

_taeyay > sugs_

taeyay: yoongiiiii

taeyay: yoongi hyung*

taeyay: r u frdee to hang out w me

taeyay: seokjin hyung n joonie hyubg dont want to hang out w me

sugs: im @ my studio sorry :(

taeyay: ;-;

sugs: uh well

sugs: i mean u can come hang round in my stuido when im workibg there

taeyay: really 

taeyay: ????????

sugs: ye sure

taeyay: BE THERE IN 5

 

_jeonggrr > taeyay_

jeonggrr: ALERT ALERT

taeyay: WHAT

jeonggrr: IM DYIGN

jeonggrr: IM GAY AFTER ALL 

taeyay: CONGRATUKATIONS ????

taeyay: WHAT MADE U RELAUSE THIS

jeonggrr: ..... PARK JIMIN

taeyay: OSHIT

taeyay: YOU CRUSHIN ON MY BOI???

jeonggrr:YEAH BASIDALLY

jeonggrr: I JUST 

 

_jeonggrr > minny_

jeonggrr: HES BEAUTIFUL I CRI

minny: wat

minny: who

jeonggrr: wrong person sorry hyung

 

_jeonggrr > taeyay_

jeonggrr: SHIT

jeonggrr: I JUST SENT HIM ‘HES SO BEAUTIFUL I CRI’

taeyay: SHIT

taeyay: MISSION ABORT

jeonggrr: IMT RHING NOT TO BREAK DOWN IN THE PRACTICE ROOM HELP

taeyay: GO TO THE TOILET 

jeonggrr: ksk pls no anxiety just one day w/o u

taeyay: you good ??????

jeonggrr: im in the toilet

taeyay: do i need to come pick u up???? say its for dinner r siemthing

jeonggrr: pls do

taeyay: ok i’ll be there

 

_taeyay > sugs_

taeyay: hyung i need to go

sugs: why ????

sugs: n u couldve just told me not text

taeyay: u seemed very into the music ok

taeyay: im going to pick up gguk

sugs: gguk only ?

sugs: he alright ?

taeyay: no not really issa long story its not my place to tell u

sugs: okay is alright

sugs: u both can come here when u get back if u need

taeyay: yes

taeyay: thanku <3

sugs: <3

 

_UNNIE BITCH SHUT UP_

6:23 PM

 

minny: where did ggukie go???

hobi-wan: i hav no idea

beargi: i saw him rush out the practice room earlier 

hobi-wan: mb he just went to pee or something

beargi: no that was like a half hour ago

minny: i'll text him :(

 

_minny > jeonggrr_

minny: ggukie !!

minny: where r u?

 

_minny > taeyay_

minny: hey do u know where ggukie is??

minny: he just disappeared

minny: i feel kinda bad

taeyay: dont worry he's with me

taeyay: it's not ur fault

minny: did something happen ????

taeyay: well yes n no

taeyay: ask gguk later, ok? i feel out of place telling u

minny: ok as long as he's alright for now

taeyay: he is dont worry

 

_uhhhh_

7:01 PM

seoking: DINNER BITCHES

hobi-wan: AIGHT ME N JIMINIE WILL BE BACK IN LIKE 5 OK

seoking: YOU BETTER

taeyay: gguk and i will be downstairs soon !!!!

sugs: i aint hungry

namu: WE'RE EATING CHICKEN

sugs: got work to do :(

namu: k i'll bring some to ur stuido later 

sugs: ok thanku <3<3

jeonggrr: AIGHT CHICKEN A LA JIN

seoking: always the best obv

seoking: agust d u missing out on a gr8 family dinner

sugs: god


End file.
